Have you ever felt like a situation in your life just feels…off? Feels wrong. Like maybe something happened, and you missed it. And you cannot for the life of you figure out if you did something wrong.
Kind of like in those apocalyptic movies where half a city is decimated, and the scene then changes to some goofy guy waking up to an alarm clock set to rock music…completely oblivious to the fact that the world around him has changed.
I’m talking about that kind of ‘off’.
Where either you are the only one in the dark as to what has happened or nobody else sees what you see.
But you know it’s there. That…feeling.
That’s the exact place I’m in right now. A while back, I suddenly got the sensation that a ‘situation’ in my world wasn’t ‘right’. It just, one day, felt…weird. It was nothing I could put my finger on – it just didn’t feel like it normally did.
Which is so frustrating, or at least for me because…I don’t like situations to feel ‘funny’. Weird. ‘Off’. They don’t make sense and it drives me nuts. I like to know what is happening. I like to communicate. I don’t like feeling like I’m in a bubble for some reason and that, no matter what I do…nothing is making sense.
Maybe I’m the only one who seems to pass through these places. (Somehow I doubt it.)
So, this morning, I prayed and prayed and prayed (…just one ‘prayed’ didn’t seem to work), and…nothing. No answer fell out of the sky. No understanding. No revelation. No instructions on what to do. Just…nothing.
Which is (again) frustrating because…I like to handle stuff. I like to deal with things. I don’t run from problems. I face them (all 61-3/4” inches of me), and I take them on. (And for those of you who are now trying to add up how tall I am…that’s 5’1 and ¾ inches. Yes, I count the ¾. Deal with it.)
I despise wishy-washy, slippy-slimey, creepy-crawley situations that you can’t seem to grab hold of and clarify. It’s like something is lurking in the darkness, and for some strange reason, it doesn’t want to be found. Ugh. I can’t stand that.
Because usually the things that don’t want to be found…are never good. And I know that because God doesn’t dwell in darkness, and anything that seems to find safety in it, is not of God.
So there I sat this morning. Clueless. Slightly frustrated. Asking…praying…pleading for understanding. For instructions. For…something.
And all I finally got was… “blog about it.” (I even put the first word in small caps because that was how tiny the instructions felt.)
Blog about it? Really? Right now? About what exactly? You want me to type about how I can’t seem to figure out what feels wrong here, and that I can’t put my finger on it? Oh…yay. This oughta be fun. I just love, love, love…looking stupid. (Sarcasm this early is usually never good.)
So, here it is. I have no great revelation. No incredible take-away. No 5-step set of instructions for you.
And maybe I wasn’t supposed to. Maybe…you just need to know someone else feels like you do. Maybe your situation has gotten so dark that you’ve just come to a complete stop and decided not to move another step alone. So…here I am. Let’s walk through this…together.
What happened to me was, I felt as if I was walking along, everything smelling nice and sparkly, and without warning, I got the slightest ‘sense’ that something, somehow, somewhere…went weird. And the ’markers’ that point to it seem totally silly. Frivolous. Insignificant. Like if I explained it to someone, they would look at me blankly and say, “That’s what made you feel like this? O-kaaay.”
See what I mean? Nobody else seems to see it, sense it, or feel it.
But you do. And you can’t explain how you know. You just…know. It’s like someone is following you and, while you might not can prove it, you are confident that if someone else started watching, they would ‘know’ it, too.
So He told me to blog. And I am. But it feels like there is nothing I can help you with…except give you the knowledge that you’re not alone. You’re not crazy. If there’s something that, for some crazy reason, doesn’t feel ‘right’…even if no one else feels it or sees it….don’t let it go.
Investigate it.
Pray about it.
Study it.
Pray about it.
Analyze the details around it.
Pray about…okay, okay. You get the point.
Pray, pray, pray. God said if you lacked wisdom…He would gladly supply it. Just ask.
Thing is, I don’t know how it will turn out. Or if it even will. Because sometimes situations do that, ya know? They don’t make themselves known. They don’t reveal themselves. They hide. And you might never have an answer to why you feel like you do. But don’t let go of it just because you can’t point to some obvious ‘marker’.
Trust your gut. Follow your instinct. Listen to God. (Not necessarily in that order.)
If something feels wrong…it probably is. And you’re most likely sensing it at some hidden level. Our gut, our soul, that place God created inside us, usually doesn’t steer us wrong. We can’t always explain how we feel. Just that we do.
So…step back. Get still. And wait.
You will know what to do when it’s time to do something. Or when it’s not time to do something. Hopefully you realize you can’t change other people. You can’t always make things be what you want them to be. Even though choices may seem obvious to you…you can’t make anybody else live them or choose them. Some people make bad decisions, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. They either can’t see it’s not good…or they don’t want to. Either way, you can’t make them listen.
And so now, two pages later, I still don’t know what to do. So I will hand it to God, who does see what’s going on, and I will let Him take care of it. When Saul was after David…God kept David safe. And He will do the same for you, and for me.
Feel like someone or something is trying to take you out or push you over but you can’t figure out why or for what reason? Trust God. He knows what’s happening, and He’s still in charge.
There’s a reason. There’s a purpose.
Although, it doesn’t make it feel better or look clearer…I know. But it does help me to know that when (or if) I’m supposed to see, I will. And if not?…oh well.
And since God has never let me down before…I suspect He doesn’t plan on starting now. If the only thing that comes out of this is His plan and purpose, then I will endure…until. Because I trust Him.
Human beings can pull you up…and slam you down. They can choose to treat you with the utmost kindness and respect, or they can make you feel as worthless as possible. But God?….He is always for you. You’re His creation. He designed you. For a purpose. And no one can ever take that away. No matter how hard they may try.
I think the hardest part in dealing with other people, especially other Christian people sometimes, is that you cannot make them Christ-like. It doesn’t matter how much you try to walk with integrity through the muck and the mire…some people only care about themselves. And if you ever try to point that out to them?…ummm. Yeah. Good luck with that.
I’ve found that some people can dish out advice…but they can’t actually live what they ‘dish’. And that just stinks. But it’s life. And it happens all the time.
So if that is what’s happening in your world, and you have that weird, gut-feeling that something isn’t quite ‘kosher’…trust it. You will be shown what to do when it’s time. And in the meantime, keep your spirit right and your heart in line with Him. As long as those two things are in order, everything will work out for your good. Because that’s what He said. And He can’t lie.
If you live according to Truth, you’ll never fail. You might fall down and you may just get your feet knocked out from under you…but you won’t be destroyed.
Because truth is and truth will never go away.
Live by it…and you’ll be just fine.
ESV Thinline Bible (TruTone, Forest/Tan, Trail Design)
