31 Days Toward Understanding Autism…(day 29)

(Here’s a brief explanation for what you will see on my blog for the month of October: I’m taking part in the 31 Days of Writing Challenge over on the Nesting Place blog. The topic I chose to write about is: 31 Days Toward Understanding Autism)

Doctor’s visits.
Dentist appointments.
Hospitals.
Emergency clinics.

Basically, all those big, bad, scary entities that make us want to gather our autistic kids and…run for the hills, right? (Well, maybe not all the time. )

Here’s my personal choice in these matters.

If…and that’s a big word…if you have the option, only work with those medical professionals who make every effort to work with you and your kids. Do NOT force yourself to continue to frequent a doctor’s office or dentist’s office that has no intentions on making your (or your kids’) world any easier. Don’t. (Again, that’s if you have the option.)

I realize that in some small towns, Dr. Whomever may be your only choice, and that he/she may have absolutely zero intentions of learning about autism or the little things they could do to make your children feel more comfortable. I both realize it and hate it.

So if you’re in that kind of situation…then pray. Pray that either you (and your story) can make a difference in your town’s medical options, or that God will direct you to where you need to go.

Allow me to explain….

M saw the pediatrician that his dad saw. (Sort of a lil’ family tradition there.) But there were times I wanted to try someone else because I didn’t really feel he was giving us his best. However, due to ‘family’, I stuck with him…despite my slight misgivings.

I grew to know better.

With our next two kids, I ended up changing pediatricians…twice. Because I refused to allow my kids to be seen by doctors who acted as if I, the mom, had no clue. (I guess carrying a baby in your belly for 9 months doesn’t count for much, huh?) I was tired of them ignoring my worries and concerns.

{When I told M’s pediatrician about his speech problems, she actually told me to just ‘relax a little and chill out.’ Yep. She did.}

In fact, I finally started taking them to our regular family doctor, and told her I would no longer be taking them to their pediatrician because I was tired of being not heard. Ironically, it was that very family doctor that found G’s hietal hernia. She sent us back to the pediatrician just for the insurance referral, and told us to tell the pediatrician to ‘pay better attention’. (His pediatrician had seen G since birth and never mentioned the hernia. Hello.)

Needless to say, I screamed relayed the information…and he did just fine in surgery. (Of course, I prayed that G would sleep completely through the night before…ya know, the one where they can’t eat or drink past midnight (insert panic)…and he did. He never woke up as we carried him in, laid him on the hospital bed, nor when he was wheeled back. Whew. Although waking up, for the 1st time that day, in Recovery was a bit traumatic (cough, cough)…)

As for the dentist, I took M when he was 4-years-old, and it took four (yes…really) people to hold him down just to get his teeth counted. Because he was terrified of the dentist sticking his hand in his mouth. Especially when said dentist was not in a very patient (pardon the pun) mood. The pediatric dentist then informed me that I didn’t need to bring M back until he had learned to sit still.

Seriously.

(Stupid dentist.)

So, a week ago, in Maryland, I took our kids to their first (M’s 2nd) dentist appointment. I put on the forms that they were all on the autism spectrum, and the visits went…perfect.

The dentist talked to each of them…calmly and quietly, explaining each thing he was going to do, and then did nothing until he made sure they understood him completely. (The visit only lasted 15 minutes. Even with the dentist taking his time. See, doctors and dentists?…patience doesn’t take much.) M actually said that was ‘kind of neat’. (Holla.) And the dentist said M had incredible-looking teeth with zero cavities. (Go, God…go, God….)

So, maybe you’re freaking out a bit thinking, ‘OMG. She didn’t take her kids to the dentist…eh-ver?!’

Nope. I didn’t.

Because I made the decision that, when it was time, I would know what to do. And guess what…I did, and it worked out just fine. For their sanity and mine.

So…my personal advice, unless it’s an emergency and there’s no way around it, find a doctor/dentist/hospital/clinic that’s willing to listen to your suggestions on how to make your kids’ visits easier, or, who understands personally how to handle autism due to experience.

Now our kids have zero fear of the dentist…all because I made a choice to make their first (remembered) visit…peaceful.

But, again…that was our choice for our story. You’ll know what to do for yours…