honoring what REAL strength is…Happy Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day, and I find it sad that it’s not nearly as celebrated as Mother’s Day. In what seems to be a vicious cycle, we teach our boys not be emotional. We tell them to be strong and tough. To not cry. To ‘suck it up’. To stand tall. Which, in my very humble honest opinion,  distorts the image of what ‘strength’ really is.

I do know that strength isn’t…

…never bending.
…never messing up.
…never feeling weary.
…never admitting to a mistake.
…never facing a weakness.
…never surrendering to God.

In fact, all that is just the opposite. It’s pride. And when you think about it, it’s also ironic. We instill a character trait into our boys, and then when they are tangled up with it as a grown man, we attempt to pry it out of them.

When it never should have been placed there in the first place.

Jesus was the epitome of strength. And yet He still…

Cried.
Felt frustrated.
Grieved.
Got angry.
Despised the shame of the cross.

He also…

Loved.
Had mercy.
Took time for children.
Respected ladies.
Cared for those less fortunate.
Acknowledged the ‘small’ people.
Gave of himself.

And those are the traits we should be instilling in our boys.

Teaching them that when they get hurt…it sometimes helps to cry.
Teaching them that when they are weary…it’s okay to ask for help.
Teaching them that when they are confused…it’s not weird to lean on an invisible God.

Teaching them what strength really is. Which is admitting we are weak so HE can be strong.

And as our kids celebrate their dad today, what I find most worth honoring about my husband is the fact that he doesn’t remain in those areas that would lead his children wrong. He isn’t perfect…but is that really the point? Isn’t living-with-integrity-in-the-midst-of-ups-and-downs…the whole idea?

I think so.

And, apparently, so do our kids.

Because they couldn’t wait to honor their dad today. And not because he never fails or rarely makes a mistake. But for exactly those things. Each day our kids see that perfection isn’t required for God to use them. My husband/their dad proves to them, by example, that life isn’t about never having rough weather and tough times…it’s about persevering through them.

With a grit in your teeth.
With your fists clenched.
With a look of determination on your face.

Because that’s what a FATHER brings to the plate.

Perseverance. Grit. Never-giving-up. Pushing through. Digging in your heels. Shaking-it-off and keep it moving.

Through the waves.
Through the storms.
Through the darkness.
Through the pain.
Through the fear.
Through the mud.

Which is what my dad has given me.

Grit.
Drive.
Hope.
Perseverance.
Stubbornness {although he might say that’s from my mom }.

Those traits have helped push me through some of my life’s toughest moments. I don’t remember my dad’s perfection. I don’t hang on to the times he never fell. Rather the memories that are burnt into my mind are the ones in which he didn’t let the yucky-stuff pull him completely out.

Maybe he hung on only by a thread some days. And maybe there were times when it seemed as though he might not make it through, but…he never quit.

And so…neither will I.

I will stand strong.
I will hold on.
I will never give up.

Because I had a father who taught me how.

And one day our kids will stand strong.
And one day our kids will hold on.
And one day our kids will never give up.

Because they had a father who taught them how.

So, Happy Father’s Day, Larry and Dad.

You’ve made us who we are today and we’re counting on you to keep up the good work.

{Image courtesy of Flickr}